Tobacco.org

BEAM: Where there’s e-smoke...  

In my lifelong quest to become America's Most Reviled Columnist, I have taken up smoking, again.

Not my beloved Larks (gack!) or non-filter Kools (double gack!) of yore. Now I am smoking a plastic doohickey known as "No. 9,'' an electronic cigarette. . . .

How is it? Well, it's cool to be smoking again, just like those smooth fellows on "Mad Men.'' People think I'm French or James Dean, which is a step up for me. I've smoked my e-coffin nail in cafes, libraries, and restaurants, so far without incident. I should add that I have done a lot of this smoking in New Hampshire, where there are no laws at all. . . .

So why does the Food and Drug Administration want to ban them? That's an interesting question, one the FDA can't answer right now because its lawyers are in court as we speak, trying to enforce its authority over the devices. Heaven knows there are plenty of nicotine products out there - patches, gums, and so on - so how the FDA lawyers concluded that "distribution of E-Cigarettes in commerce in the U.S. is prohibited'' is beyond me.

FDA, schmeffDA, the e-butts are on sale everywhere . . .

What's the bottom line? If you would like to quit, then e-cigarettes' milder dose of nicotine - less than one fifth of a tobacco cigarette - might help. (Got that, President Obama?) If you are hooked on nicotine, the cooler vapor is a lot better for you than tobacco smoke. The e-cigs are cheaper, too, averaging out to about $2.50 or $3 for a putative pack, versus $6 and up for the real thing.

And if you want to look like James Dean in "East of Eden'' or Jean-Paul Belmondo in "Breathless'' - oh, never mind.

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