Jump to full article: Maine Today, 2008-12-18
Author: BILL NEMITZ
Intro: But here's the kicker: The Maine plaintiffs make no claim whatsoever that the marketing of "light" cigarettes has actually hurt their health. Rather, they essentially say that Philip Morris ripped them off and they want a refund.
That argument won out this week before the high court, which ruled that as long as the Maine smokers' claim is economic and not medical, their case can proceed.
(The minority opinion, written by Justice Clarence Thomas, argued persuasively that plaintiffs' impaired health is not only an issue here, but is the only way to demonstrate that "light" cigarettes constitute fraud. Thus, Thomas maintained, the Maine case has everything to do with the health effects of smoking and should consequently be dismissed.)
Which brings us back to you, Joe. Or, more specifically, your wallet.
The next major step in this slow-burning drama is for the plaintiffs' lawyers to ask that the court designate the case a class action. If they succeed, any Mainer who has ever stood out there on a street corner sucking on a Marlboro Light like it was a soda straw could be in line for some form of compensation from Philip Morris.
In other words, Joe Nicfit, you could end up getting some, if not all, of your cigarette money back. . . .
But look at the bright side, Joe. You can jump aboard this juggernaut without a single doctor's visit, endurance test or high-tech scan of those tar pits you call lungs. You can even go right on smoking if you want – attorney Lanham said he's certain that one of his three clients still smokes and he's not sure about the other two.
Or, Joe Nicfit, you can finally see that there's a much better way to stick it to Big Tobacco. It requires no lawyers, no calculators and no receipts. And unlike this smoke-and-mirrors lawsuit, it has everything to do with your health.
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