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Humor
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Categories
· Cessation
· Humor

STATSHOT: How Are We Quitting Smoking?  

Jump to full article: The Onion, 2009-07-15

Intro:

12%

Stealing mother's Nicorettes instead of her Camels

18%

Pissing off connection in Cell Block 8

11%

Nicotine body grease

20%

Cold Turkey, tomorrow

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Categories
· Smokefree Policies
· Humor
· Military

VIDEO: Red State Update: No smoking on the battlefield!  

Jackie and Dunlap imagine the reasons why a recent study suggested a smoking ban for all U.S. soldiers.
Jump to full article: Salon Magazine, 2009-07-17
Author: - Video Dog -

Intro:

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Categories
· Cessation
· Humor
· Op-Ed
· Parenting / Family issues

SCHMIDT: Smoking addiction: An unfortunate case 

Jump to full article: Pioneer Press Newspapers (Waukegan, IL), 2009-07-09
Author: TERRI SCHMIDT Contributor

Intro:

I am a very classy cigarette case. My caramel ostrich-skin leather surrounded by a gold border opens sideways to show 8 cigarettes on each side. Very 1940s -- Rick might have used it to offer Ilsa a smoke in "Casablanca." Now I just sit in a drawer.

I never thought it would come to this. My owner loved to smoke. She had it with morning coffee; while driving to work; at work when she thought she couldn't handle the stress; after work with a drink with friends; the last thing before bed. I thought that I was her best friend because I never left her side. . . .

Nope, what really ended it for us were her kids. They started to pretend that they were smoking, imitating her using a straw from their juice boxes. And then she knew it was all over for her and me.

She learned all the tricks to do things differently. No more coffee -- too much of a reminder of the old days . . .

I think I'll have to change careers to get out of the drawer. Maybe I'll start carrying her business cards.

If you would like to retire your cigarette case, call the Illinois Tobacco Quitline, (866) 784-8937, for help and services near you.

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Categories
· Federal
· Humor
Organizations
· FDA

FDA To Regulate Tobacco 

Jump to full article: The Onion, 2009-06-11

Intro:

  • Jake Ehrlich, Coating Machine Operator "When one door closes another opens. Goodbye Marlboro Lights, hello Marlboro Primes."

  • Daniel Prager, Unemployed "I smoke ultra-lights, so I guess this doesn't affect me."

  • Kathleen Shannon, Flying Instructor "They can remove 'light' and 'low tar' from the labels, but as long as I choose the cigarette brand with the least rugged man in its advertising, I know I'm getting the equivalent."

    Jump to full article »

  • Categories
    · Society
    · Teen Smoking/Youth
    · Humor

    VIDEO: Swine Flu? Forearmed Is Forewarned 

    - Comic Riffs -
    Jump to full article: The Washington Post, 2009-05-08
    Author: Michael Cavna strips down the funnies, Online Comics Blog

    Intro:

    Time for Friday's Reading List, when we catch up with fave items of the week... . . .

    2. Some months back, 'Riffs highlighted the engaging animation of "Traced." Now the creator has a new one posted, titled "Smoking." You can view all the work on the TRACED Web site.

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Federal
    · Tax
    · Humor

    EDITORIAL CARTOON 

    Jump to full article: New York Post, 2009-04-03
    Author: Sean Delonas

    Intro:

    [Graphic:

    Sick man in bed, surrounded by medical machines and clouds of smoke, with overflowing ashtray on bed. He is smoking and complaining to a visitor who has a gas mask on.

    "$10 A PACK??? THOSE TAXES ARE KILLING ME!!"]

    Jump to full article »


    Quotes from this article:

    $10 A PACK??? THOSE TAXES ARE KILLING ME!!
    Angry sick smoker, in a Sean Delonas cartoon.

    Categories
    · Society
    · Humor
    · Op-Ed
    non-USA, by Country
    · China

    WHITELY: Don't blame China for the world's eco woes 

    Jump to full article: China Daily (cn), 2009-03-12
    Author: Patrick Whiteley

    Intro:

    Two Chinese businessmen walk into an international airport smoking room crowded with Western men puffing on cigars. The two Chinese are about to light up when one suit-wearing smoker turns and barks: "Do you mind?"

    This is an old analogy used to illustrate the hypocrisy of some in the West who blame China for the world's pollution woes. . . .

    London's Great Smog of 1952 is an extreme example of how this situation can go from bad to worse. More than 12,000 Londoners died as a result of the five-day catastrophe. The city's undertakers ran out coffins and it forced the British government to pass the original Clean Air Act.

    This is a tragedy no nation wants to repeat.

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Opinion/Surveys
    · Humor

    ATF Agents Closing In On Nation's Most Notorious Cigarette Bummer 

    Jump to full article: The Onion, 2009-02-27

    Intro:

    A spokesperson for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives announced Tuesday that the agency has intensified its manhunt for an individual suspected of bumming more than 75,000 cigarettes nationwide.

    ATF agents, who have tracked the elusive cigarette moocher for nearly four years, claimed they could be just days away from apprehending the "single greatest threat" to American smokers. . . .

    Agents investigating the site of the most recent bumming believe the fugitive may have struck four times in one night.

    "Mark my words," Thompson continued. "His days of annoying the living crap out of smokers everywhere will soon be over."

    Representing the largest investigation in ATF history, the nationwide dragnet has nearly exhausted the agency's resources . . .

    A break in the case this morning nearly netted the notorious moocher, but officials reportedly let the fugitive slip away when he approached several officers during their smoke break, asked for a cigarette, and quietly went on his way.

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Cessation
    · Humor
    Organizations
    · GASO/INSD

    VIDEO: Jimmy Kimmel Live - Cousin Sal And The Great American Smokeout 

    Jump to full article: Veoh, 2008-12-02

    Intro:

    [Cousin Sal squirts Kimmel Show employees taking smoking breaks]

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Cessation
    · Humor
    Organizations
    · GASO/INSD

    VIDEO: Great American Smokeout - Jimmy Kimmel Live! 

    Cousin Sal Celebrates the Great American Smokeout
    Jump to full article: You Tube, 2006-12-14

    Intro:

    Jimmy Kimmel Live covers the American Cancer Society's Great American Smokeout on November 16, 2006.

    [Cousin Sal sprays smokers on the street with a fire extinguisher, saying, "Thanks for not smoking."]

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Opinion/Surveys
    · Humor
    USA, by State
    · New York

    BUCKLEY: What New Yorkers Should Dread in the New Year  

    Jump to full article: New York Times, 2008-12-28
    Author: Christopher Buckley

    Intro:

    *

    The 2003 public-area smoking ban will be lifted in order to promote early urban mortality.

    This sure-to-be-controversial move, which sources say will be announced early in the new year by the City Council, is expected to bring about "significant" savings to the city budget in the area of extended elderly care. Council Speaker Christine Quinn, who reportedly clashed with Mr. Bloomberg over his intention to serve as mayor until 2048, is said to be exerting "fierce" pressure upon the mayor to personally launch a "Light Up, New York!" campaign.

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Opinion/Surveys
    · Smokefree Policies
    · Humor
    · Arts/Culture
    USA, by State
    · Michigan

    DAVIS: All I want for Christmas: cleaner air  

    A doctor makes final plea in parody for Michigan smoking ban
    Jump to full article: Detroit (MI) Free Press, 2008-12-03
    Author: DR. RONALD M. DAVIS, Henry Ford Health Systems •

    Intro:

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House (of Representatives), not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. House Bill 4163 had been through both chambers with great fanfare, and there was a great yell of triumph from the Campaign for Smokefree Air.

    Children with asthma were wishing for the best, of visits to restaurants with clean air in their chests. And Mama in her apron could work for a living, without the worry of cancer the secondhand smoke was giving.

    When out in the Capitol lobby, there arose such a clatter, the people all wondered just what was the matter? Ohio has done it, and Illinois, too, so many states were smoke free, why is it so hard for Michigan to do? . . .

    So write to your lawmakers and tell them to compromise and vote; tell them you're watching and you're taking note. It's good for me and for you, good for health and business too; Be you naughty or nice, a smokefree Michigan is the right thing to do!

    -- Dr. Ronald M. Davis, M.D, of East Lansing, who wrote this verse a year ago, died last month of pancreatic cancer.

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Opinion/Surveys
    · Cessation
    · Humor

    Smoker's Lament by Les Fox 

    Jump to full article: Swindon Advertiser (uk), 2008-11-28
    Author: Les Fox

    Intro:

    Some time ago, he gave me

    Nicotine patches

    I couldn’t light them

    I used a whole box

    Of matches

    So I just keep on puffing

    Cough and splutter

    But at nearly eighty

    Does it really matter?

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Society
    · Secondhand Smoke
    · Humor
    USA, by State
    · Montana

    A healthy dose of humor - Woman who survived cancer takes on Big Tobacco in her comedy act 

    Jump to full article: The Missoulian, 2008-09-29
    Author: VINCE DEVLIN of the Missoulian

    Intro:

    San Francisco comedienne Rene Hicks used to be an accountant.

    And perhaps, like Newhart, she "killed 'em" - had her audience rolling in the aisles - while on stage.

    But this is where Hicks' story takes a strange turn.

    Because her audience, you see, darn near killed her.

    Hicks, who never smoked a cigarette in her life - she was a long-distance runner in college, for heaven's sake - came down with lung cancer in 2001.

    She blames the secondhand smoke she breathed in over years of performing in clubs and bars.

    "That's how I got cancer," says the comic, who appears Saturday in Polson at an event where the Lake County Health Department will hand out its Healthy Business Awards.

    One of those businesses is the St. Luke Healthcare Network of Ronan, which next week will extend its no-smoking policy to include a ban on smoking outdoors on all its properties in Lake County. . . .

    "Anything a tobacco company does is funny," Hicks says. "I mean, they're trying to kill people, and trying to make it seem like they're not. There's good fodder there, the new ways they come up with to sell death to people, to dress it up."

    Jump to full article »

    Categories
    · Business (Tobacco)
    · Teen Smoking/Youth
    · Humor
    · Advertising/Promos
    · Op-Ed
    Organizations
    · MO

    The Daily Break / The Ledge 

    My reaction to Phillip Morris' "Tips for Parents" in Raising Kids Who Don't Smoke:
    Jump to full article: Daily Iowan (University of Iowa), 2008-07-16
    Author: Andrew Juhl

    Intro:

    - "Make your 'No Tobacco' position clear to your children." Brand it into their fleshy backsides by extinguishing a series of Virginia Slims. . . .

    - "If you use any form of tobacco, don't let that stop you from talking to your children about not smoking tobacco." Right, because if there's one thing teenagers respond well to, it's hypocrisy.

    Jump to full article »

    Humor
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